Keeping Expectations in Check

Through life experiences, we form beliefs about ourselves, others, the world, and the future, along with rules based on assumptions about how we should and shouldn’t behave. While these beliefs help us process information more efficiently, relying on them too rigidly can lead to errors in judgment.

For instance, if you grew up with overly critical caregivers, you might develop unreasonably high standards for yourself and others in adulthood. These standards might have helped protect you from criticism as a child when your basic needs were dependent on your caregivers, but they may no longer suit your current situation.

Take a moment to ask yourself: Are you maintaining these standards to avoid feeling bad, or because you truly want to? If it’s the former, this might be a sign that it’s time to adjust your expectations.

To begin, focus on what truly matters to you and prioritize that. The next time you feel bad, use it as a chance to reassess your beliefs, ensuring that you’re being fair and reasonable with yourself and preventing unnecessary guilt.